"My Wife Has Left Me" (An Age Test)

I bought her Mimeograph by Estee Lauder and she grew sick of my picking her up and smelling her every time she walked into the room.

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What's In A Name?

In an attempt to improve morale, Kenya today announced that it is renaming itself: “Kenya-dig-it?”

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"You're all heart"

Friends and family have told me this forever. Only now did I deduce that for decades they have been calling me a mindless idiot.

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Marital Bliss

Key to any marriage is that lone exception to otherwise steel-encased fidelity. You know the one. The “hypothetical” should by some remote chance such an opportunity arise. My wife’s, of course, is Brad Pitt. Mine is her younger sister Lacy.

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"Slumdog Millionaire"

I just found out this is a movie! I thought it was just another posthumous rap album from Tupac Shakur.

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Great Quotes in History

January 1, 1959


Fidel Castro to Che Guevara: “New Years resolution?!?!? I thought you said New Years revolution!”


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