Suffragette City

The funny thing is: If women didn’t have the right to vote today, I think we can all agree that one major political party would be in favor of giving them the vote, while another would be vehemently opposed.

(Do I even have to name them?)

BILL

Gun Crazy

What mental illness causes NRA members to interpret “rational gun control laws” – you know, things like no Gatling Guns, waiting periods, background checks, etc. - as “WE’RE COMING FOR YOUR GUNS!!!!!!!!!!!?”

BILL

It was... I gotta tell ya... CRAZY!!

So I go to this Santa Monica Blvd playhouse the other night to see a show called “All About Walken,” one of those wacky low-rent productions wherein they’ve amassed a number of actors, all of whom do truly amazing impressions of actor Christopher Walken. To no one’s surprise they kind of do them in ascending quality order, you know, the “worst” first and work their way up. A couple sketches , one of a phone operator talking to someone with a bad connection was pretty amusing, each actor doing a solid Walken. All pretty standard stuff and quite entertaining.

Anyway, at show’s end, they all come out onstage and hold hands, bow, soak in the generous applause and that’s when it happened: the actual Christopher Walken walks out from behind them!! The place goes NUTS!! Judging by the shocked reaction of the actors, I don’t even think they had a clue this was going to happen. (Must have been arranged by the theatre on the down low; that’s all I can figure.) Anyway, it truly made for a madcap evening, right up until the moment Walken pulled out a revolver and shot himself like his character does at the end of “The Deer Hunter.”

What a bummer.

BILL

25 or 6.24?

Despite having only five percent of the world’s population, guess what percentage the United States has of the world’s prison population?

Answer: 25%.

Welllllllllllll, all I have to say to that is: USA!! USA!! USA!! USA!!

Thought They Were Shooting "Walking Dead" Downtown This Morning!

Turned out it was just a typical Monday morning on the sidewalks of Los Angeles.

Oh, well.

BILL

Like the ads say: "Priceless"

With talk of Congressman Paul Ryan becoming Speaker of The House it’s amusing to recall the quote from musician Tom Morello: “Paul Ryan's love for Rage Against The Machine is amusing, because he is the embodiment of the machine that our music has been raging against for two decades.”

As a bonus, it was just pointed out to me that one of Ryan’s “demands” for taking on the Speakership is he wants to have time away with his family, this from a man who has voted down paid family leave time and again.

BILL

Gun Crazy

What mental illness causes NRA members to interpret “rational gun control laws” – you know, things like no Gatling Guns, waiting periods, background checks, etc. - as “WE’RE COMING FOR YOUR GUNS!!!!!!!!!!!?”

BILL

“The Martian”

I think Matt Damon’s character in “The Martian” should have simply prayed for the plants to grow instead of using science to grow them. This would have made for an excellent 30-minute film.

BILL

She Could Not Turn The World On With Her Smile But I Loved Her Anywa

In 1970 it was my grandmother in the background staring at Mary Tyler Moore (near Nicollet Mall in Minneapolis) when Mary did her famous hat toss at the end of the opening credits of “The Mary Tyler Moore Show.” She’s wearing glasses, white gloves, a headscarf and a rather drab overcoat, her semi-blurred expression of puzzlement the precursor to what we now call “WTF.”

BILL

https://search.yahoo.com/search;_ylt=AmcXUGLqswE9EL94u3rxfM.bvZx4?p=mary+tyler+moore+hat+toss+youtube&toggle=1&cop=mss&ei=UTF-8&fr=yfp-t-901&fp=1

Moron Benghazi

NEWS ITEM: (WASHINGTON) - A former investigator with the Republican-led congressional committee examining the attacks in Benghazi in 2012 says he was fired after resisting pressure to narrowly focus his investigation work on Hillary Rodham Clinton.*

EDITORIAL – My God, Republicans are terrified of her. Did you watch the debates? She was like Godzilla! This is why Republicans are obsessed over this “tragedy in search of a scandal” (to quote another) and her emails and why they are doing everything they can to get people not to vote. Voter suppression efforts. Voter ID laws. Lessening early voting. Increasing the difficulty of registering to vote. Anti-motor voter bills. Etc. Etc. (How un-American by the way.) All of this a cynical and desperately fear-based attempt to make it really, really hard for folks who tend to vote Democratic to vote. The stench of 60s Mississippi lingers today. Admit, Republicans, the woman scares the absolute shit out of you.

BILL

*Source: 10/11/15 Los Angeles Times

We Don't Need No Stinkin' Terrorists

In 2014 alone, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention recorded 11,208 people shot to death, 33,636 injured by gunfire and 21,175 who killed themselves with a gun.* Or as I like to call it “Eleven 9/11s.”

BILL

* (Source: 10/8/15 Los Angeles Times)

Moron The Oregon Shooter

NEWS ITEM: PORTLAND, Ore. (AP) — The mother of a gunman who killed nine people and himself at an Oregon community college allowed her troubled son to have guns and acknowledged in online posts that he struggled with autism, but she didn't seem to know he was potentially violent.

EDITORIAL: Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

BILL

Twitter: @BillBekkala

Forgeries From Greatness

When someone suggested President Obama was a moron, I stated that, if such were true, he would be the first moron ever to graduate first in his class from Harvard Law School. Birther knee jerk kicked in for this person who then stated that he would like to see the president’s transcripts. I could well be wrong on this but I don’t think these are public information, nor do I think they should be. Are yours? Nevertheless, it doesn’t matter, because if Obama released all of his college transcripts, some would merely deem them forgeries. Lesson being: never let reality intrude upon a stubbornly held belief.

BILL

Sorry, Humphrey Bogart, But I Beg to Differ

I think a “hill of beans” would have tremendous value in today’s volatile bean market.

BILL

To Air Travel is Divine

Why do so many people complain about flying? The settlers were burying their kin when they crossed the continent. All you have to do is take off your shoes. Quit your bitching and eat your fucking peanuts.

BILL

PS: And, as a bonus, I twice crossed the continent without peeing!

My Top Five Movies That Likely Would Not Have Worked With Anyone But:

#5 - “Groundhog’s Day” – Bill Murray

#4 - “My Cousin Vinny” – Joe Pesci

#3 - “The Dead Zone” – Christopher Walken

#2 - “One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest” – Jack Nicholson

#1 (and way ahead of the pack) - “School of Rock” – Jack Black

BILL

Thirteen Dead in Another Mass Shooting

That's OK. Small price to pay for a well-regulated militia. Besides, at any moment Obama might come and take away my gu-- wait a sec! I think I see him coming right now. Gotta run. USA! USA! USA usa usa....

BILL