I Agree With Defense Secretary Robert M. Gates

Any decision re our continued involvement in Afghanistan should be “based on conditions on the ground.” Now while I didn’t go to West Point, when my best friend and I played G.I. Joes, I’m fairly sure if our battle conditions on the ground hit the ten-year mark, at that point I’d utter these words: “Dude, I just can’t beat ya. I’m outta here.”

BILL

Wow! What a Story!!!

Who could not be moved by last week’s dramatic story from Louisville when little Haley Bergman took control of the airplane in which the six year old and her father were flying when he suffered a massive heart attack? Well, up until the plane crashed anyway.

BILL

Tales From A Blowhard

Evidently Joplin, Missouri was so wiped out after the tornado they’re considering renaming the town Janis Joplin. BILL

Kids Say The Darndest Things!

My son came home from Bible study wondering if eternal hellfire awaits him should he not choose Jesus as his personal Lord and Savior.

“I guess it does, Cletus,” I responded.

A look of confusion overcame him. “What’s a ‘terrorist threat’ again?” he inquired.

God love him, I didn’t know what to say!

BILL

Among The Mottled Memories of My Youth...

… perhaps the bleakest is the excruciating pain I suffered the first time I played kick the can, five shattered toes losing their battle against cold, hard porcelain.

BILL

Two Funny Words:

“Crocodile Gandhi”

BILL

Granted I'm Not a Studio Head

… but I really think actor John Malkovich should have held out for a lot more money for his role in “Being John Malkovich.”

BILL