Riddle Me This, Blastman:

What were Adam Lanza and James Holmes prior to Lanza creating a twenty deep pile of bullet-ridden six-year olds (and six of the adult variety) while Holmes – not to be outdone – killed a dozen moviegoers, while injuring 58 others?

Answer: “law-abiding citizens.”

And isn’t this the fallacy of the gun lobby argument, i.e. that gun control laws will only rein in “law-abiding citizens?”

There is also – as others point out - the intellectually feeble assertion that, since criminals won’t obey these laws, then why enact them? The logical extension to this of course is: then why have any laws at all?

BILL

You Make Your Hospital Bed; You Sleep In It

While I will always be 100% opposed to torture – whoops! faux pas on my part; I meant “enhanced interrogation techniques” – I’d be lying if I didn’t say the thought did occur to me that perhaps we might want to skip the pain meds for the Boston bombing suspect.

BILL

In My Ongoing Effort To Spend Eternity in Hell

You know who I really feel sorry for? Those who ran 25.99 miles of the Boston Marathon only to be told they had to turn back.

BILL

I Didn't Like Monday

What we should call the suspected Boston Marathon bombers: The Boomtown Rats.

BILL

I've Gone a Little Waco

When a fertilizer plant explodes in Texas, whether we like it or not, it truly is fertile ground – see? I just proved my own point - for humor. (OK, bad puns then.) But in light of the stink that arose - whoops! I did it again – after Tuesday’s Boston Marathon email, wherein I suggested that any post-explosion prayers of solace and comfort countermand the rather unsubtle message of wanton destruction that had been allowed from on high to occur moments earlier, well, let’s just say: lesson learned!

So with regards to Waco, let me to be the first to declare: God be praised!

Can I get an “Amen?”

BILL

Obama: ‘Evil’ Boston bombings were act of terror

Thanks, Mr. President. I wasn’t quite sure what was happening there. Thanks for clearing that up.

BILL

Boston Baked Paens

I can’t help but shake my head in astonishment at talk of prayers in the wake of yesterday’s Boston Marathon bombing, it being abundantly clear that the god to whom one would pray has quite clearly already ruled on the matter and, purportedly omniscient and all powerful, merely sat back to watch the bombs explode and the body parts fly.

BILL