My Brother Smedley Has Named His Dog After Me!

A Labrador retriever with boundless energy, little Shithead is tearing up the place I’m told.

BILL

Quote from GOP Senator Lindsey Graham re ISIS:

“This president needs to rise to the occasion before we ALL get killed back here at home.” That’s right, a ragtag group of deeply religious head slicers are going to invade and defeat the world’s most powerful military.

Meanwhile back on planet Earth…

BILL

Twitter: @BillBekkala

If I Ran An Oil Company

And someone came to me suggesting I should use some of my profits to seek alternative energy sources, I would say to them:

“I run an oil company.”

BILL


Twitter: @BillBekkala

I Took The Ice Bucket Challenge!!

OK, maybe not the ice bucket, but the water was icy. Or at least cold anyway. At least when it first came on. Could have been lukewarm; I’m not altogether sure, as I was pretty sleepy.

OK, I showered this morning.

BILL

Twitter: @BillBekkala

Kira Kazantsev

OK, rubes, here’s your chance to once again claim “I want my country back!” in the wake of Miss America having both parents from, that’s right, Russia! Have at it.

(Oh wait, sorry. She’s the right color. My mistake.)

BILL

Twitter: @BillBekkala

Back When I Lived in Tornado Alley

Whenever tornado warnings came in, I of course ignored them, deeming the folks who filed such reports “alarmists.” Up until the day a 2x4 slammed into my head at 150 mph during a tornado. (This also explains to some extent why I am such an odd duck.)

BILL

Twitter: @BillBekkala

I'm Dating Scarlett Johansson

But I’m pretty sure she’s seen at least one episode of M*A*S*H.

BILL


Twitter: @BillBekkala