Carolina On His Mind

Unlike with Puerto Rico, when POUTus said to its Governor that he should “get in touch with the leader of his own country if he wanted help.”

Ladies and gentlemen, the Trump Administration.

BILL

Gwyneth Paltrow Wins Best Actress: 1999 Oscars

Watched this (unattached) clip for the first time in 20 years and, while Ms. Paltrow gave a fine performance, it always irked me that she thanked – by my count – 23 people by name in her acceptance speech, including two corpses, but failed to thank the very screenwriters (Marc Norman and Tom Stoppard) who earlier won the Best Original Screenplay Oscar for a film entitled – oh, irony of ironies – “Shakespeare in Love.”

BILL

PS: But be of good cheer. She did thank Harvey Weinstein.

Dumb Founded

If I voted for POUTus I would never, ever admit to it. Imagine the battered self-esteem metastasizing within those who now know – beyond any doubt – that they were never savvy to the rebel ways of a self-proclaimed swamp drainer whose dubious business “acumen” would foil the feckless ways of Washington, but were instead the easily-conned marks of a lunatic one man shit show whose only significant legislative “accomplishment” will likely be a massive tax cut for himself and others like him, leaving those he duped holding the bag under frayed, Made in China MAGA caps.

BILL

OK, maybe I'm NOT so good with money.

I once hired a skywriter to imprint across the sky the entire text of John Steinbeck’s classic novel, “The Grapes of Wrath.” In retrospect, not the wisest idea, especially considering the fact that the pilot died prior to getting to that great Tom Joad – Henry Fonda in the film - speech at the end. Bummer.

BILL

"Birth Control"

Or as SCOTUS nominee Brett Kavanaugh calls it: “Abortion-inducing drugs.” Are we clear now, everybody? Have everything we need to know? Ladies? Thoughts?

BILL

Blinded by Delight

I have a theory that there exist no bad pictures of actress Blake Lively or Beyonce. Since no one has ever disproven my theory, it therefore continues its inexorable march toward universal law.

BILL

The Court of Private Opinion

Dear Brett Kavanaugh: I am sooooooooo relieved to hear of your respect for precedent – not “president” mind you – and am now well assuming you will not turn out to be a ball-bearing weasel whose sole – not “soul” mind you - reason for living is to overturn Roe v. Wade.

BILL