Unending Fun With Benghazi

NEWS ITEM: The House committee investigating the Benghazi attacks is now the longest congressional investigation in history, the House Select Committee on Benghazi having been active for 72 weeks -- surpassing the record previously held by the Watergate Committee in the 1970's.

EDITORIAL: Bravo, I say! Bravo! We must find out if the Benghazi attacks were a violent act of religiously-fueled rage or a religiously-fueled act of violent rage. Keep the investigation going, gentlemen. The fate of a nation lies in the balance.

BILL

Some Fun FOX News Trivia

FOX News was all over – and by all over I mean daily news reports in the summer of 2001 – about a Democratic member of the House of Representative named Gary Condit, more than implying that he probably murdered a young lady named Chandra Levy. (He was later exonerated when another man was found guilty of Levy’s first-degree murder.)

I have little doubt FOX would have kept up these evidence-bereft insinuations were it not for three airliners crashing into the World Trade Center and Pentagon on 9/11/2001, relegating Condit to trivia posts such as this.

In the old days, they called this McCarthyism. I just call it “fair and balanced.”

BILL

"To The Moon, Alice!" (NOT)

I’m sure others have probably noticed this but only (“The Honeymooners”) Jackie Gleason’s Ralph Kramden could get away with repeated wife beating jokes. I see three reasons.

One, we knew without a doubt that he would never hit her. Moreover, Ralph knew that Alice knew he would never hit her. The frustration on his face was because he knew he’d never do it.

Two, it’s a safe bet that Ralph would probably kill with his bare hands anyone who harmed a hair on Alice’s head.

Finally, ever the comic pro, Gleason always had the scripts so that Alice verbally got the best of Ralph as soon as he “threatened” her.

BILL

Alcohol and Writing - A Love Story

Truman Capote
Raymond Chandler
William Faulkner
Raymond Carver
Dashiell Hammett
Ernest Hemingway
Jack Kerouac
F. Scott Fitzgerald
Eugene O'Neill
Jack London
Hunter S. Thompson
Tennessee Williams
Dorothy Parker
Edgar Allen Poe
Charles Bukowski
James Joyce
Dylan Thomas

BILL

Dad's Clean Plates: A Childhood Memory

My father always ate everything on his plate. When done, he would pick it up and lick it clean. After that he would pick up all our plates and lick each and every one of them clean. Finally – a coup de grace if you will - he would pick up his plate and devour it bite by bite, swallowing every shard of glass until his plate was entirely consumed. Then, with sweeping finality, while blood cascaded from his smiling lips, he would extend both arms and shout: “And for my next trick!!”

How he managed to repeatedly do this has forever mystified both me and my equally stunned siblings.

BILL

These Boots Were Made For Talkin'

Ever notice that the same politicians who salivate their allegiance to the military generals familiar with “boots on the ground” refuse to accord the same level of deference to the thousands of climate scientists who for decades have studied the data in their chosen field of expertise, arrogantly relegating the latter group to the status of “alarmists.”

BILL

I auditioned for Dos Equis’ “The Most Interesting Man in The World” commercials

Unfortunately they decided to go with someone who was actually interesting.

BILL