Car Hunting

Ted Kennedy and Dick Cheney are driving cross country, Teddy at the wheel. They come to a bridge. “Stop the car,” Dick says. “I’m taking the wheel. You ride shotgun.”

“Sounds good to me,” Teddy says.

BILL

Hole Foods

Why don’t hunters who pose with their kills – proud to “provide for their family” as they often say – take similar pictures at the grocery store?

BILL

The Hunt for Rube October

Those claiming “love of the outdoors” as one of their reasons for hunting should claim “love of art” as reason to set fire to a museum.

BILL

Lead The Way

A fan of irony, I would bet that most of the same individuals fearing the remote possibility of “civilian-killing” terrorists entering our country are the same ones who worship the very second amendment that coddles our homegrown, gun-packing, rage-filled “civilian-killing” wackos.

BILL

"The Smell of War" by author/journalist/veteran Philip Caputo

An excerpt from his anti-Iraq invasion op-ed in the Los Angeles Times on 3/30/2003.

“I covered the Middle East for four years, from Morocco to Tehran, and feel reasonably confident in predicting that we would find it easier to grow bananas in the Sahara than to plant a flourishing democracy in that blood-dimmed, fractious country. I feel reasonably confident in further predicting, as people more expert in these matters have already done, that a prolonged U.S. occupation of Iraq will in time inflame Arab nationalism and Islamist fervor, and serve as a giant recruiting poster for Al Qaeda or some other band of murderous fanatics.”

Gee. Do you think he was right?

BILL

Statue of Liberty Play

Did you read how all those super-duper patriotic, gigantic flag unrolling, pro-military, we-love-the-troops demonstrations at NFL stadiums over the past few years were not the gesture of patriotic sincerity on the part of the teams and owners that fans thought they were but were in fact paid for by the Pentagon?

Welllllllllllllllll, all I have to say to that is: USA! USA! USA! USA!

BILL

No Thought Required - Only True Belief

Please, may we stop using the word “mastermind” when it comes to whatever louse thought up the Paris attacks? Not only is it an insult to true masterminds, but such acts require few brains whatsoever. Only hate.

BILL