Calling In Is Sick

Am I mistaken or is being a United States Senator the only job in America where one can be absent from work for months at a time and, instead of being fired, have a 50-50 chance of being promoted to leader of the free world?

BILL

Sad News re The Opening of My New Restaurant

After only one week of (quite sparse) business, Gruel Junction has closed.

BILL

At Bill Industries...

…. Theirs no excuse for error. Perfection is more then just a word. Its our goal

BILL

The Dirty Dozen Sixteen

Like many, I have mixed feelings re the posting of the Ten Commandments in a public domain. Like all men, however, I feel strongly that the sixteen line operational count-off from the film “The Dirty Dozen” SHOULD be posted in every men’s room stall. Allow me to refresh your memory:
One: down to the road block, we've just begun.
Two: the guards are through.
Three: the Major's men are on a spree.
Four: Major and Wladislaw go through the door.
Five: Pinkley stays out in the drive.
Six: the Major gives the rope a fix.
Seven: Wladislaw throws the hook to heaven.
Eight: Jiménez has got a date.
Nine: The other guys go up the line.
Ten: Sawyer and Gilpin are in the pen.
Eleven: Posey guards points five and seven.
Twelve: Wladislaw and the Major go down to delve.
Thirteen: Franko goes up without being seen.
Fourteen: Zero-hour, Jiménez cuts the cable, Franko cuts the phone.
Fifteen: Franko goes in where the others have been.
Sixteen: we all come out like it's Halloween!

BILL