"Three Billboards Outside Washington, DC”

INSANELY FIXATED UPON STOPPING MUELLER INVESTIGATION

DESPITE ENDLESS INDICTMENTS AND GUILTY PLEAS/VERDICTS

HOW COME, MR. PRESIDENT?

Imagine you're a drill sergeant who just won the lottery

I mean, how do you stay over-the-top impatient, ornery and insulting after you’ve won $58 million? “Down and give me fifty, maggot!! Did I say ‘maggot?’ Man, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. Gimme… gimme three pushups, OK? That oughta do it. There you go. All right! Back in line now, fella. High five!”

BILL

Truth in Advertising

If Simon and Garfunkel truly had a sense of humor, they would have released their album "Sounds of Silence" as a record with absolutely no sound.

BILL

Man, I'm an Idiot!!

I just found out the phrase “lickety-split” means to do something real fast. I thought it was a sexual maneuver.

BILL

Security Blankettes

John Brennan, decades long civil servant, patriot and former head of the Central Intelligence Agency, had his security clearance taken away by POUTus for having criticized him. But fear not in this terror-ridden nuclear age, America, for Ivanka and Jared still have theirs.

Ladies and gentlemen, the Trump Administration.

BILL

Trumping Trump

The next time POUTus downplays Paul Manafort’s crimes, saying as he did on Wednesday that all lobbyist and consultants probably do such things, some gumption-fueled reporter should ask: If your daughter Ivanka should ever be brutally raped and beaten can we then expect you to say “People are brutally raped and beaten every day. What’s the big deal? Moreover, what about Hillary’s emails?”

BILL

"Flipping should almost be outlawed."

So said POUTus yesterday, clearly vexed over his attorney Michael Cohen’s willingness to work with prosecutors. Put another way: Cooperating with officials to see that those who violate the law are legally prosecuted should be against the law.

Well, so much for his presidential oath to see that the laws are faithfully executed per the Constitution.

But let’s dumb it down since we are talking Trump. Ask yourself this: Would he be even the least bit agitated if he had nothing to hide?

Ladies and gentlemen, the Trump Administration.

BILL