One Truly Befuddled Morning...

… I actually came to work not wearing a shirt. But that’s not the weird part. The weird part is that I still managed to wear a tie.

BILL

My Favorite Part of the State of The Union Speech

When President Obama said: “And to encourage these and other businesses to stay within our borders, it is time to finally slash the tax breaks for companies that ship our jobs overseas, and give those tax breaks to companies that create jobs right here in the United States of America.”

The Democrats broke out into applause, while the Republicans sat on their hands and scowled.

Who luvs ya, baby?

BILL

Making Matters Worse? My Favorite Show is "Monk"

In his new book “Star: How Warren Beatty Seduced America,” author Peter Biskind calculates the number of female lovers Beatty had prior to settling down with actress Annette Bening at 12,775.

This surpasses my own lifelong tally by 12,771.

BILL

Comic Relief

But seriously, my New Year’s Resolution for 2010 is to finally stop doing heroines. Wonder Woman, Super Girl, Batgirl, Cat Woman, Lascivious Lady. Oh, how the dark allure of these clingy-suited vixens has made a sorry wreck of my life.

BILL

Comic Relief

But seriously, my New Year’s Resolution for 2010 is to finally stop doing heroines. Wonder Woman, Super Girl, Batgirl, Cat Woman, Lascivious Lady. Oh, how the dark allure of these clingy-suited vixens has made a sorry wreck of my life.

BILL

What I Believe

I believe the penalty for physically assaulting one or more members of a Mariachi band - during the course of an otherwise quiet evening out - should be limited to no more than sixteen hours of community service.

BILL