And Now Back to Our Regular Program... Reality

Re the “biggest tax cut in history.” (Actually it’s the 12th largest since 1918.)

“Hispanic-American unemployment has also reached the lowest levels in history.” (Nope, that would be 2006 and 2007.)

“The US is now an exporter of energy.” (Nearly all possible meanings are untrue.)

“After years of wage stagnation, we are finally seeing rising wages.” (Wage gains, in fact, have barely budged for the typical American worker.)

Ladies and gentlemen, the Trump Administration. Doesn’t matter. The rubes still love him. Which is why I call them “rubes.”

* Source: 1/31/2018 Los Angeles Times

BILL

Question:

How come you never see Eric Clapton at a McDonald’s? What does he have against McDonald’s, the elitist bastard?

BILL

I wish I coined this phrase:

“No good deed goes unpunished.”

Unfortunately, I’ve only coined the phrase “cheeseburger swami filet mask” and I have rarely, if ever, heard folks utter it.

BILL

Forty-four year old plot spoil:

Admit it “Godfather II” fans. Don’t we all have a tiny bit more respect and affection for Michael Corleone’s bodyguard Al Neri when he lets Fredo finish saying the “Hail Mary” out in the fishing boat before plugging him in the back of the head?

BILL

Please, Sir, May I Have Some More?

I’m a little embarrassed to admit this but I still get a bit verklempt when I think of Donald Trump Jr.’s concern for Russian orphans. Sure, like everyone who saw him and his brother posting photos holding the tails of big game kills in Africa, I thought he was just some unfeeling brute, but, you know, when you scratch just a little below the surface, well, what can I say? He’s just a big softie. Maybe we’ve all been a bit too hard on these Trumps. Myself included. His love for Russian orphans has genuinely given me reason to look at him in a different light. What can I say? He really sends me.

BILL

Yeah I know 15 years ago but still....

In light of the fact that Halle Berry later said her reaction to 2003’s unsolicited full-scale, back-bending kiss in front of a billion people on live TV during the Oscars was “What the f*** is going on right now?” I can only conclude that smooching Best Actor winner Adrien Brody gets a pass these days.

BILL

Let Freedom Ring In a Bell So Tiny No One Hears It

WASHINGTON (AP) — Basic rights and political freedoms in the United States are deteriorating at a faster pace under President Donald Trump, exacerbated by attacks on key institutions like the press and the courts, according to a new report released Tuesday by Freedom House.

(Ladies and gentlemen, the Trump Administration.)

BILL

"I am your voice," a, like, really smart guy once proclaimed.

And that voice is now: “Honey, you need to drive me to the emergency room.”

“The number of Americans without health coverage, which declined for years after passage of the Affordable Care Act, shot up in President Trump’s first year in office, according to data from a new national survey. At the end of 2017, 12.2% of U.S. adults lacked health insurance, up from 10.9%, as President Obama was completing his final term.” *

(Ladies and gentlemen, the Trump Administration.)

BILL

* Source: 1/16/2018 Los Angeles Times

It took four tweeted words before the "stable genius" misspelled:

“Government Funding Bill past last night…”

(Ladies and gentlemen, the Trump Administration. And, remember, kids: the worst kind of idiot is not the idiot, for we all – myself included – have our moments of idiocy. The worst kind of idiot is the idiot who thinks he’s a genius. And, well… we know who that is.)

BILL

One of my all-time favorite sentences:

“The language used by me at the DACA meeting was tough, but this was not the language used.”

Ladies and gentlemen, the Trump Administration.

BILL

HEADLINE: "Trump demands respect for national anthem. Forgets lyrics"

Ladies and gentlemen, the Trump administration.

BILL

How Old is Bill?

He remembers when a driver’s hands were at 10:00 and 2:00, not 10:00 and SmartPhone.

BILL

Can You Smell The Fear?

From once being “100% willing” to speak under oath to Robert Mueller to yesterday’s it “seems unlikely” he’ll talk to him and requesting the GOP take control of the Russia investigation. A man with nothing to hide would be begging Mueller to continue investigating him, laughingly looking forward to this man’s well-deserved humiliation and ultimate resignation. Instead, we see the opposite.

Ladies and gentlemen, the Trump Administration.

BILL

WRITTEN, not spoken:

“I’m, like, really smart.”

Ladies and gentlemen, the Trump Administration.

BILL

I Pretty Much Agree With This:

I caught Jackie Gleason on The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson about thirty years ago and Carson asked him if he looks for any more challenges as an actor. If memory serves, Gleason had a drink in one hand, a cigarette in the other and said: “Johnny, life is a challenge. Why would I go looking for any more?”

BILL

Mooch Ado About Nothing

It was precious watching Anthony Scaramucci defending Trump the othere morning, the first telling clue – as always - that you’re losing a “debate” being when you frequently interrupt the person – Stephanie Ruhle in this case – asking the questions. My favorite part was when he described Trump as a “best-selling author.” Now while TECHNICALLY true, I don’t include him among the ranks of, say, John Steinbeck. By simply LISTENING to Trump you can tell he’s an idiot. Yes, his name is on a book but it was, I assure you, ghost written by some poor sap who had to endure endless hours of taped conversations with the child and who had signed a veritable phalanx of non-disclosure agreements Trump’s lawyers threw his way so that the book author was listed only as “Donald Trump.” And then he (or she) went outside and counted his money.

BILL

A Taxing Notion

“One of the most telling features of the (new tax) bill is that the modest breaks for the middle class are set to expire in less than a decade while the corporate cuts are permanent.”*

(Ladies and gentlemen, the Trump Administration.)

BILL

* Source: 1/1/2018 Los Angeles Times

Dumb and Getting Dumber

“Three-fourths of Americans cannot name all three branches of the federal government, according to an Annenberg Public Policy Center poll taken last year. One in three Americans cannot name a single branch of government. More than a third of Americans can’t name any of their rights under the First Amendment. A host of surveys finds that Americans, particularly young Americans, are increasingly ambivalent or even hostile to free speech, and even democracy.” *

Wellllllllllllll, all I’ve got to say to that is: “USA!! USA!! USA!! USA!! USA!! USA!!”

BILL

* Source: 1/2/2018 Los Angeles Times

Here’s an 80-20 rule I have little doubt.

“Godless liberals” (like yours truly) have more respect for the earth than evangelicals who claim god made the earth.

BILL