The Times They Are a-Changing

Watching the Olympics, I saw former basketball standout Ann Meyers Drysdale (born 1955) doing the color. Don’t recall what prompted the exchange but her broadcast partner said to her “Maybe that’s why you’re in the Hall of Fame.” With no hesitation she responded “I had a lot of help.” It struck me as something you wouldn’t hear from players today.

BILL

Pop Tarts Go Over Big at Funerals

Oh, sure, you get some odd looks when you first plug in the toaster mere yards from the coffin, but after a while the mood is light, smiles abound and – what can I say – the kids, why they just love them!

BILL

Dear Trump Fan:

What appeals to you about the man? Is it his sexism and the endless demeaning remarks he’s made about women? Is it his racism? The fact that he’s embarrassingly thin-skinned? Is it the way he made penis comparison remarks during a national debate? Is it the fact that he repeatedly dodged the draft during the Vietnam War because of heels spurs, an ailment this 70 year old obese man no longer seems to suffer from? Is it the way he seems to lust after his own daughter? His egomania perhaps? Is it his mindboggling exaggeration or serial lying? What could it be? Is it the fact that he seems to get all his information from the National Enquirer, random websites and “what he’s hearing from others?” Just what exactly? Perhaps it’s his glaringly evident lack of knowledge as to the workings of government. Maybe the way he – a draft dodger – mocked a war hero who spent years in captivity and who was endlessly tortured? What exactly? Is it his penchant for violence against those who protest his appearance and – now that it well appears he is going to lose and lose big – he’s now inviting his followers to serve as unofficial “observers” at polling stations, echoing Jim Crow of days gone by? Perhaps it’s the veiled assassination threats he made against his opponent? Again. Just what is it about him? Is it the way he “tells it like it is” but when he lets fly another asinine comment, he backtracks by saying he was merely being sarcastic, oblivious to this glaring contradiction? Is it how he brags he would do “way worse than water-boarding?” Just what exactly? Perhaps it’s the way he touts his ability to create jobs, said assertion flying in the face of his numerous corporate bankruptcies? What? Please, tell me. Is it the way he openly insults the very people he would have to work with if he ever became president, virtually ensuring further governmental gridlock? Is that it? Is it his promise to release his tax returns then revoking that very promise? Please enlighten me.

BILL

God I'm an Idiot

Watching the Olympics, I just learned the breaststroke is a swimming style. I thought it was a misdemeanor.

BILL

When The Polls of November Come Crashing

Given the choice between Donald Trump or a retarded child for president, I would choose the latter, for one is an immature novice as to the workings of government who views everything through the prism of how it affects him personally, the other a retarded child.

BILL

My "Stand By Me" Thought

I think the writers – either King and/or screenwriters – were making fun of studio notes when they had chubby Verno question how fictional Lard Ass got into the pie eating contest that ended in a full-on barf-o-rama.

BILL

Beefeater Grim

I would never enter a hotdog eating contest for fear of throwing up before a crowd and having it go viral. Plus I fucking HATE hotdogs!

BILL

I'm So Stupid

I just found out Foggy Bottom was a neighborhood of Washington DC and home of the State Department. I always thought it was a crass joke about farts.

BILL

A Clown Wrapped in C-4 Explosives & Ball Bearings

The dubious claims that Donald Trump was “only joking” re his veiled Second Amendment threat against Hillary Clinton would be sooooooooo much more believable were it not for the frequent number of times Trump advocated violence at his campaign rallies. Alas, such is not the case, is it, Little Donnie?

BILL

Twitter: @BillBekkala

Small-Headed Belief

NEWS ITEM: “Florida Republican Governor Rick Scott accused the federal government of lagging in providing assistance to combat the spread of the Zika virus in a Miami-area neighborhood, the site of the first U.S. transmission of the virus.”

EDITORIAL: Ah, c’mon, Rick. As a fervent climate change denier, you know as well as anyone that the scientists studying this outbreak are nothing more than “alarmists.” So relax, take it easy and plop yourself down in a fetid pool of mosquito-infested swamp water and show them the folly of their ways.

BILL

I Detest Polticial Correctness

In fact, I believe in being incorrect as often as possible, whether we’re talking politics or even one’s profession, the latter viewpoint which did not sit well with management during my days as an air traffic controller.

BILL

You Know What I Find Sad?

That there simply has to be someone out there named Ronald McDonald.

BILL

Political Discourse 2016 - A Comparative Study

“I wake up every morning in a house that was built by slaves, and I watch my daughters, two beautiful and intelligent black young women, playing with their dogs on the White House lawn.” (First Lady Michelle Obama)

“We don’t need somebody who goes home and takes naps. We don’t need naps. No naps for Trump! No naps.” (Republican Nominee for President Donald Trump)

BILL

Only You Can Prevent Forest Fires

(And only racists vote for racists.)

BILL

Going To The Mattresses

Man, I tell you if Little Donnie is elected, I’m going to seriously be worried about the future of this country. I might well stuff all my money into my mattress. (Oh, wait, I don’t own a mattress.)

BILL