If They're So "Lame," Why Are You Running Away From Them?

I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: We need the Republican party now more than ever. For the jokes, man, for the jokes. And, yes, per her own words, only a Republican would claim that she can be “destroyed” by a question….

Republican congressional candidate fled her interview with a major election-forecasting group after being asked why she believed global warming was a hoax and whether President Barack Obama was born in the United States, according to The Washington Post.

David Wasserman, the House editor at the Cook Political Report, detailed his strange encounter with the "frightening" and "fact-averse" Louisiana State Rep. Lenar Whitney.

Whitney, who is running for Louisiana's open sixth district, gained some prominence in June when she released a campaign video blasting global warming as a "hoax" and the press as "lamestream media." Wasserman said he pressed Whitney on the issue of climate change only to find her unable to answer his questions.

"But it’s not unreasonable to expect candidates to explain how they arrived at their positions, and when I pressed Whitney repeatedly for the source of her claim that the earth is getting colder, she froze and was unable to cite a single scientist, journal, or news source to back up her beliefs," he wrote.

Wasserman said he attempted to "change the subject" and ask whether she believed Obama was born in the United States. Her aides then ended the interview.
"When she replied that it was a matter of some controversy, her two campaign consultants quickly whisked her out of the room, accusing me of conducting a 'Palin-style interview,'" he continued. "It was the first time in hundreds of Cook Political Report meetings that a candidate has fled the room."
Whitney could not immediately be reached for comment.


BILL

PS: Man, I even love her Facebook post following it, Whitney slammed the Cook Political Report. "It was obvious, from the onset of the interview, that Wasserman had planned to jump me simply because I am a Conservative Woman and liberal shills like Dave Wasserman want to destroy us," she wrote.

Worse, I'm Still Paying Alimony!

I once told my ex, Zelda, that I could do a spot on imitation of Droopy. She rolled her eyes and mumbled: “Like you have to tell me?”

BILL

Try This Some Time

Whenever someone says “Ain’t that the truth?” respond: “Well, the truth – hazy conclusion though it oftentimes can be – is, in fact, relative, depending to a large extent upon the perceptions, experiences and, yes, biases of the individual passing judgment at whatever particular moment. Now, as to your specific query, I suppose, yes, in this limited instance and since I was the one declaring the original supposition to which you responded in the affirmative, it truly is, indeed, the truth.”

I do this, and you should see the looks get.

BILL

The Day My Two-Year Old Had a Heart Operation

Hey, I’ll admit it, I became a tad concerned when I saw the chest surgeon texting during the operation, but then I thought: “Hey, no biggie. I text while driving. It’s all good.”

Sadly, Festus died.

BILL

Oh, Bill, It's Just a Harmless Fantasy...

At a “Game of Thrones” panel at the 2011 San Diego Comic-Con, actor Jason Momoa said his favorite part of his role on the HBO show is that he gets to “rape beautiful women and have them fall in love with me.”

Now to truly appreciate just how detestable this remark is, just scoot it down Repugnance Road a wee bit further by, oh, I don’t know, adding the word “toddler” maybe.

BILL

Twitter: @BillBekkala

Why I'm So Socio-Politically Minded:

It was my ever-impassioned high school social studies teacher, Jeb McFlinty, who lit a fire under this student, punishment it seems for talking in class. I recovered from the burns quite nicely and McFlinty continues to reside at the Rockland Home for The Criminally Insane.

BILL

Request To The Dearest of Armed Friends

Should I ever memorize my HMO Identification number, just shoot me.

BILL

Of James Garner

Many times I was compared to the handsome, non-aggressively masculine, affable and charismatic late actor (“Maverick,” Rockford Files,” etc.), each time the comparison coming up woefully lacking.

BILL

Creep Scope: A Childhood Memory

The battered self-esteem of my youth reached high tide I believe when – upon hearing that a girl had referred to me as “that really creepy guy” – I replied to a friend: “C’mon, I’m not that creepy.”

BILL

Twitter: @BillBekkala

How To Spot An Uninspired RomCom

When viewing “coming attractions,” if a familiar pop song starts at the two-thirds point of the trailer, it’s best to avoid the movie altogether. (Just trust me on this one....)

BILL

Twitter: @BillBekkala

Just Found Out I'm Lactose Intolerant

Which pretty much explains why I loathe my next door neighbors, John and Mary Lactose.

BILL

Crazy as FOX News

So FOX News commentator Bill O’Reilly says - with utter casualness – that we as Americans are simply going to have to get used to mass shootings, with Americans blithely killing other Americans.

Wellllllllllllllllllll, all I have to say to that is: USA!! USA!! USA!!

BILL

My Anti-Bucket List

I don’t have a bucket list, you know, those things in life you want to get to before kicking the bucket. I have a “fuck it list.” Things like: Parasailing? Fuck it; that’s never gonna happen. I’m too chicken shit. Catch a Broadway show? Fuck it. I’m too cheap and the tickets are too expensive. See the Grand Canyon? Fuck it; it’s a goddamn hole. What’s the big deal?

I’m sure you have a few if your own…

BILL


Twitter: @BillBekkala

My Mama Told Me: "You Better Not Shop Around"

“Never go shopping with a woman.”

Joseph N. Byerson

aka Grumpy Joe
aka Frustrated Joe
aka Filing Joe
aka Newly Single Joe
aka Lonely Joe
aka Drinking Joe
aka Sober Joe
aka Dating Joe
aka Engaged Joe
aka Married Joe
aka Shopping Joe

BILL

OK, Murrieta, We Get It! You're Pissed!

Now just shut the fuck up and sign my petition to tear down the Statue of Liberty! *

BILL

*Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"



Twitter: @BillBekkala

This Might Get Me Into Hell on a Tie-Breaker

Caught “Life Itself” this weekend, the documentary on film critic Roger Ebert and, while I enjoyed the film, I nevertheless felt it was missing something. Turned out it was Roger’s lower jaw.

BILL

Twitter: @BillBekkala

AMC's Series "Halt and Catch Fire"

Or, if it were set in Los Angeles, “Halt or Catch Fire.”

BILL

We Buried Great Aunt Millicent Today

So tragic, and while obviously I’m in mourning, I’m pretty pissed too, because the dogs have dug her up twice already.

BILL

Should You Encounter Resistance in Your Life's Dream...

… remember this: per a book I’m reading by playwright Christopher Durang, when he was at Yale University with a particular young actress, the head of the Acting Department wanted to toss the young lady from the program. This validated in the mind of the head of the Drama Department that this guy was sufficiently nuts, so he fired him rather than booting Meryl Streep.

BILL

Dog of The Hair

While, granted, there exists no true cure for a hangover brought on by excessive drinking, the cure for excessive drinking tends to be a truly memorable hangover.

BILL


Twitter: @BillBekkala