While My Favorite Movie is "The Deer Hunter"...

… and I’m not necessarily “against” hunting, someone is going to have to explain to me why so many hunters are so “proud” of their kills. You know, up to and including posting photos on Facebook and carcass heads onto their den walls. Seriously, what is there to be proud of? The animal is defenseless, unintelligent, you have a scope on your rifle and you personally inflicted an agonizing death upon the animal’s last moments of existence. Disagree? Take one in the chest and see if I change your mind. And don’t talk to me about the physicality of the hunt because that would pretty much include an unarmed walk in the woods. Besides, half of you are obese.

“Oh, Bill, you’re just saying that ‘cause you don’t hunt.”

You’re right; I don’t. But in answer to the question please. I get the happy part. You get to eat the meat for free (even though if it were any good, there would be deer farms by the thousands and there would be a restaurant chain called TGI Antlers). It’s the “pride” part that baffles me.

“Oh, Bill, you just don’t get it.”

I know! That’s what I’m saying! I don’t get it. That’s why I’m asking! Hell, I’m begging you. What’s with the pride?

BILL

Manners, Ferguson!

Because nothing says “moral high ground” like a brand new high-def color television set.

BILL

Another "Scandal" Bites The Dust

NEWS ITEM: (Washington – 11/24/14) – “The CIA and the military acted properly in responding to the 2012 attack on a US diplomatic compound in Benghazi, Libya, a Republican-controlled House committee has found. Its report concluded that there was no wrongdoing by Obama administration officials.”

EDITORIAL: Nice try, FOX News. It was a noble, two-year effort. (OK, it was a two-year effort.)

BILL

"Interstellar" (Plot Spoiler Alert)

At the end of the day, Christopher Nolan’s deep, richly themed and impressive epic space travel movie proves one thing: the average guy (“Coop” in this film) will cross time and space as we know it in order to be afforded the chance to spend time alone with Anne Hathaway.

BILL

Twitter: @BillBekkala

Take the “I Refuse to Shop on Thanksgiving” pledge:

It goes like this: “I refuse to shop on Thanksgiving!” (Pass it on!)

BILL

Stop The Culture of Dependency!

For too long fertilized eggs have depended upon the impassioned advocacy of anti-abortionists, a culture of dependency to which I’m sure even FOX News would concede. The time has come to stop this insanity. Join Pro-Choice forces today!

BILL

Twitter: @BillBekkala

Recent @BillBekkala Tweet:

If I’m Bill Cosby and I KNOW I’m innocent of a rape charge, I’m ADAMANT about paying for mutual lie detector tests. Cos, what say you?

BILL

Five Worst States For Women

NEWS ITEM: 24/7 Wall Street looked at all of the states to determine which are the worst for women from the standpoint of leadership opportunities, healthcare, education, etc. The results?

#5 North Dakota

#4 Mississippi

#3 Idaho

#2 Wyoming

#1 Utah.

EDITORIAL: Huh! What do you know?! They’re all red states. Go figure….

BILL

Thing There Should Be a Name For:

The three second delay from the time you bring your fingers to the keyboard to type your screen lock password till the moment you remember that password.

BILL

Rebuttal Time

Should you ever encounter someone who utters the term “humanism” or “humanistic,” intending either in a disparaging light, ask them: “Why are you so ashamed of being human?”

BILL

Twitter: @BillBekkala

Home of The Brave Alert

NEWS ITEM: A few short weeks ago a majority of Americans feared an outbreak of Ebola would rage out of control in the United States. Today the U.S. is Ebola free.

EDITORIAL: But nice try, FOX News. Next time, how about leaving it to the experts? (Oh, and, you might want to think about applying that same logic to climate change as well.)

BILL

Mr. Bekkala Goes to Washington

In 2003, Republicans in congress “punished” France for not joining our war with Iraq (success date TBD) by renaming French fries and French toast “freedom fries” and “freedom toast” in congressional cafeterias. I visited Washington and the Capitol that year and ordered both. Deciding to have fun with it, I informed the person behind the counter “and give me some freedom lasagna” and “one of them freedom burgers” and “hey, live a little, gimme a freedom banana split while you’re at it” and “there’s always room for freedom Jello.”

He looked at me as if I was some jerk. So I impugned his patriotism by saying “Hey, I love this country, buster!” I then complained to his supervisor and got him fired.

That was a good day. Let freedom ring.

BILL

From Our Chickens Have Come Home to Roost File

NEWS ITEM: “Just because we have a two-party system doesn’t mean we have to be in perpetual conflict,” Mitch McConnell, the presumptive new Senate majority leader said Tuesday night.

EDITORIAL: Gee, Mitch, you had six years to say this. Why the wait? Oh, that’s right. The veto pen….

BILL

It May Be White But It Sure Ain't Milk

Had a terrible time at the West Hollywood Halloween Parade. My Dan White costume is absolutely caked with blood.

BILL

The Word Isn't "Vote" But It's Prettttttttttttttttty Close

Well, GOP, after six years of nakedly letting it be known that your entire goal was to stand in the way of whatever the President wanted to do, strap yourself in for two years of phrases like “requires more study,” “this bill is fatally flawed,” “the timing is just not right,” “this isn’t the America I know,” etc., etc.

I have to say, I’m going to enjoy this.

BILL

Twitter: @BillBekkala

Home of The Brave Alert

NEWS ITEM: LOUISVILLE, Ky., Nov 3 (Reuters) - A teacher at a Louisville, Kentucky, Catholic school has resigned rather than take paid leave after parents raised concerns about her trip to Kenya, half a continent away from the Ebola epidemic in western Africa, WDRB Channel 41 TV reported.

EDITORIAL: “… and the home of theeeeeeeeeee braveeeeeeeeee!!”

BILL

"Insult a man's music, you insult the man."

Believe it or not, an original line, one which the guys in my polka accordion trio loved.

BILL