Myth Busting 101

Alleged genius Albert Einstein claimed the definition of insanity is to repeat the same behavior, expecting a different result. Each morning I stroll out into the courtyard of my apartment complex - wearing only my headphones by which I savor the lush sounds of Neil Sedaka – and toss a deck of 52 playing cards skyward, then list using a pen and clipboard the cards that land face up. Never have the same results occurred.

Now who’s the genius and who’s insane, hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm?????

BILL

What Can I Say? It's Low Hanging Fruit....

It amuses me to no end that the actual ground zero strip club has not met with the same strident opposition as has the proposed ground zero mosque.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm. No, wait a second. I’m wrong on that one. Yeah, I changed my mind. On second thought, nothing hallows the ground where so many perished on that dark and tragic day like a strip club.

BILL

But Seriously...

As long as we have "Don't ask, don't tell" in the military, we simply have to stop being so hard on the Taliban. Why you ask? Because in the same way that the upper echelon asserts that the inclusion of gays might corrode military morale, i.e. the intolerant and prejudiced possibly becoming aroused to anger by the mere presence of gays, so too do we have the parallel situation with the Taliban, wherein men force women to wear burkas (tents) to avoid becoming sexually aroused by their mere presence, wanton temptresses that they deem them to be.

In each situation, thus, we have two groups, the intolerant homophobic element of the military and the evil Taliban pointing a finger of blame at others rather than taking personal responsibility for their own behavior. In short, we have self-admitted children unable to control themselves from allowing their more unsavory emotions to get the best of them.

What say we seat both groups at the kiddie table come Thanksgiving, no?

BILL

Pantaloonies

The other day I laughed so hard at my friend Otis for his dated reference to “trousers” that I spilled buttermilk on my dungarees.

BILL

What Ails Me

Sadly, I’ve been diagnosed with narcolep