As a lifelong liberal, i.e. one bent on destroying America, the time has come for me to finally start cutting back on my hours. As you can well imagine, bringing down a country, especially a lumbering behemoth like the USA, is a time-consuming endeavor, one fraught with endless weekend work and frequent sleep deprivation, the latter in particular having taken a nasty bite out of my usually chipper mood. This being so, I will no longer be able to help any of my friends or family move.
Sorry for any inconvenience and thank you for understanding.
BILL
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Monday, July 25, 2011
Why Certainly I'm an Organ Donor!!
In keeping with the “Organ Donor” sticker on the back of my driver’s license, I trucked my late mum’s vintage Hammond down to the DMV last week. You should have seen the wide-eyed looks I got as I rolled this sucker through the door! Here’s hoping everyone waiting in those long lines enjoy whatever tunes are played on their behalf.
BILL
BILL
Friday, July 22, 2011
Thursday, July 21, 2011
I'm In Mourning
A while back I told you of the depressed state of mind of most of my billionaire friends, none of whom seem able to put a dent in the problem of job creation. Sadly, one took his life just yesterday, leaving this note:
“What can I say? The billions of dollars, the court side seats at Laker games, the eight homes, the yachts, the supermodels, the fabulous food and drink, the travel to the world’s most beautiful vacation spots. None of these can dull the heartache that plagues my very being stemming from my inability to create jobs. I’m outta here.”
Bummer. I’m seriously worried about my other billionaire friends who, I fear, might partake in the same dark deed. I say we cut their taxes.
BILL
“What can I say? The billions of dollars, the court side seats at Laker games, the eight homes, the yachts, the supermodels, the fabulous food and drink, the travel to the world’s most beautiful vacation spots. None of these can dull the heartache that plagues my very being stemming from my inability to create jobs. I’m outta here.”
Bummer. I’m seriously worried about my other billionaire friends who, I fear, might partake in the same dark deed. I say we cut their taxes.
BILL
I'm In Mourning
A while back I told you of the depressed state of mind of most of my billionaire friends, none of whom seem able to put a dent in the problem of job creation. Sadly, one took his life just yesterday, leaving this note:
“What can I say? The billions of dollars, the court side seats at Laker games, the eight homes, the yachts, the supermodels, the fabulous food and drink, the travel to the world’s most beautiful vacation spots. None of these can dull the heartache that plagues my very being stemming from my inability to create jobs. I’m outta here.”
Bummer. I’m seriously worried about my other billionaire friends who, I fear, might partake in the same dark deed. I say we cut their taxes.
BILL
“What can I say? The billions of dollars, the court side seats at Laker games, the eight homes, the yachts, the supermodels, the fabulous food and drink, the travel to the world’s most beautiful vacation spots. None of these can dull the heartache that plagues my very being stemming from my inability to create jobs. I’m outta here.”
Bummer. I’m seriously worried about my other billionaire friends who, I fear, might partake in the same dark deed. I say we cut their taxes.
BILL
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
OK, I Admit, This Was VERY Poor Judgment On My Part
But I got drunk as a skunk at Betty Ford’s wake.
BILL
BILL
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