Euuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!!!!!

To be honest I’m not even exactly sure what the European Union is. My guess would be it’s a union of Europeans.

BILL

Hey, Kids, Let's Time Travel!

Why was there no witch hunt for President Reagan when 241 Marines were killed in Lebanon in 1983 while 4 dead in Benghazi led – ahem – a particular party to go head hunting for Hillary?

I’ll answer the question: Because the more rational among us understand that there are people in this world who wish us harm and we “get it” that - sadly - from time to time, they inflict a few dire blows. You know, like 9/11. (Whose watch did that happen on again? Oh, that’s right, the guy who “kept us safe.” Not that I called for his head, nor Reagan’s in 83.) Also, alas, a perfect world continues to stubbornly elude us.

BILL

Sorry Moments in Film Dumb

I realize this sounds ridiculously superficial but I went to see “The Shallows” this weekend and part of the reason I went is because I said to myself “Even if it sucks, I at least can look at Blake Lively in a bikini for 90 minutes.”

BILL

Flowin’ flowin’ flowin’. Keep that river flowin’.

“I know more about ISIS than the generals do, believe me.” (Little Donnie)

BILL

Little Donnie's Greatest Hits

No one reads the bible more than me.

No one respects women more than me.

I have the best words.

Nobody knows the tax code better than I do. OK. I know it better. I’m the king of the tax code.

I will be so good at the military, your head will spin.

I don't want to have guns in classrooms, although in some cases teachers should have guns in classrooms, frankly.

I consult myself on foreign policy.

If we don’t get tough we’re not going to have our country anymore. There will be nothing- absolutely nothing – left.

I am the least racist person that you’ve ever seen.

(Jeez, when I read these I can start to see why people want this man to be leader of the free world…)

BILL

Shooting Down a Theory

The argument that gun control will never be entirely water tight should not be used unless those making it are willing to also state that “Since red traffic lights and stop signs are sometimes run by scofflaws, we should do away with them entirely.”

BILL

They just keep flowing like a river of stupdity.

“If we don’t get tough we’re not going to have our country anymore. There will be nothing - absolutely nothing – left.” (Little Donnie)

BILL

Fueling An Argument

Seemingly forgotten amidst his armada of stupid comments, let us not forget that Little Donnie has stated we should simply “take” the oil of other countries. I hope that anyone cheering this sentiment at least possesses the intellectual integrity not to take umbrage should his or her child ever be raped, i.e. “taken.” It is important that one’s principles align.

BILL

Shooting Down Such Folly

I can’t help but shake my head in astonishment at talk of prayers in the wake of Sunday’s Orlando shooting, it being abundantly clear that the god to whom one would pray has quite clearly already ruled on the matter and, purportedly omniscient and all powerful, merely sat back to watch young Omar have his day in the sun.

BILL

Hey! Orlando shooter Omar Mateen was a racist, too!

Just like Little Donnie. Cool!

BILL

The Sunk Cost Fallacy

“Reasoning that further investment is warranted on the fact that the resources already invested will be lost otherwise, not taking into consideration the overall losses involved in the further investment.”

Now apply this to whatever religion was indoctrinated into your brain at age six – not by your choice of course - before you were capable of thinking for yourself. Think of the decades you’ve invested in this belief system, fueled by habitual inertia as much as anything, all the while shunting aside the reasoning part of your mind that is screaming as loud as it can: “You believe in virgin births, people walking on water, a talking snake and people rising from the dead!!!”

BILL

PS: Yes, timed in the wake of a religiously-fueled massacre, per the shooter’s 911 call before he commenced with the festivities.

A New Low?

NEWS ITEM: A "reap what you sow" tweet from Texas Lt. Governor Dan Patrick that went out hours after approximately 50 people were killed at a Florida LGBT nightclub has been deleted amid backlash.

EDITORIAL: Care to guess his political party? Huh? Wanna guess?

BILL

PS: And a big shout out to the NRA for making it sooooo easy for the shooter to be… well, a “shooter.”

Crime and Punishment?

Just think how relieved Stanford rapist Brock Turner is, knowing he is being held in protective custody for the duration of his unjustly short sentence and thus immune from the horrifying prospect of rape, yet all the while knowing he inflicted the same upon a defenseless other.

BILL

Let's Admit It:

There’s no difference in laundry soaps. I mean, have you EVER walked up to someone and gone: “Wow! Your shirts are really clean!!”

BILL

The Ongoing Demise of Personal Responsibility

NEWS ITEM: The father of an ex-Stanford University swimmer who was sentenced to six months in jail for sexually assaulting an unconscious woman believes his son should have received probation because the 20-year-old has already suffered for “20 minutes of action.”

EDITORIAL: Taking his position to its logical extreme, infamy should not be accorded to Lee Harvey Oswald for his mere seven second deed.

BILL

Infant's Side

The United States has the worst record among advanced nations on mandatory paid maternity leave and, in most American cities, child care costs now exceed a family’s rent.*

Welllllllllllllllllllll, all I have to say to that is: USA!! USA!! USA!! USA!!

BILL


*Source: 5/25/16 Los Angeles Times

Trump 2016:

Because America needs a spoiled, draft-dodging, thin-skinned, penis-comparing, POW mocking, National Enquirer reading, violence-advocating, serial-lying, torture-loving, daughter-lusting, racist, sexist, clueless-re-the-workings-of-government bully to be leader of the free world.

And if you think this overloaded, try it with Hillary. I’ll comp you two. “Entitled-feeling” and “anecdote-bending.” That’s about all I got.

BILL

Little Donnie Strikes Again!

“Hillary Clinton has to go to jail. She is guilty as hell,” Donald Trump said yesterday. (So much for the Constitution, I say.)

But that’s not the funniest part. The funniest part is he said that if elected he would investigate whether she broke the law by using a private email server for official business while secretary of state. (Dude, this already has been going on for, what, forever? Again, he’s so clueless.)

But wait, there’s more! Actually, this might be the funniest part. “If I win,” he told the crowd here, he would ask his attorney general to “take a very good look at it from a fair standpoint.” (Good luck with that legal rabbit hole.)

The guy’s a laugh a day. Like a clown wrapped in C4 explosives. But the rubes love him.

BILL

But The Rubes Love Him

Little Donnie says if Hillary Clinton supports gun restrictions then she shouldn't be protected by armed Secret Service agents. Only an idiot would equate “some gun restrictions” with the complete lack of protection for the possible next leader of the free world.

BILL