As Previously Stated:

I’m positive Trump is a coward. The two clues, the second always the more telling. Number one: get out of harm’s way. (See “Vietnam, Heel Spurs.”) Number Two: once out of harm’s way, play the badass whenever possible. Endless examples, the latest being telling cops to rough up suspects, the definition of the word “suspect” eluding the “really, really smart guy.”

(L&G, TTA.)

BILL

Hey, everybody! Here's a good one!

Four more years!!
Four more years!!
Four more years!!

BILL

The Day I Get to Second Base

I’m seeking to obtain the naming rights to second base at Dodger Stadium. Soon you might actually get to hear: “Wilson edging away from first. He’s a sneaky one that Wilson. Diego gives him a glance. Here’s the pitch—and there he goes!! Taylor with the throw to Perez but that fleet of foot Wilson is safe at the Bill Bekkala second base!”

BILL

Why Does The Magician Have Hot Assistants?

The same reason a president – out of the blue - declares his opposition to transgenders serving in the military.

Distraction.

(L&G, TTA.)

BILL

A Conversation With Jared Kushner:

Q: What else did you talk about?

A: Well, we talked about sports. And movies. And, oh, we walked about “Breaking Bad.”

Q: But you didn’t collude?

A: No!

Q: Did you meet with any Bolivians?

A: No.

Q: Did you meet with any Italians?

A: No. Just Russians. We like Russians.

Q: What else did you talk about?

A: Well, we talked about knitting. And show tunes. And, oh, we talked about that little guy on that show “Webster.”

Q: But you didn’t collude?

A: No!

Q: Did you meet with any Koreans?

A: No.

Q: Did you meet with any Vietnamese?

A: No. Just Russians. We like Russians.

Q: What else did you talk about?

A: Well, we talked about pastry chefs. And gourmet cooking. And, oh, we talked about Granny from “The Beverly Hillbillies.”

Q: But you didn’t collude?

A: No!

Q: Did you meet with any Canadians?

A: No.

Q: Did you meet with any Chileans?

A: No. Just Russians. We like Russians.

Q: What else did you talk about?

A: Well, we talked about Western cattle interests. And charcoal. And, oh, we talked about Tickle-Me-Elmo.

Q: But you didn’t collude?

A: No!

Q: Did you meet with any Albanians?

A: No.

Q: Did you meet with any Swedes?

A: No. Just Russians. We like Russians.

Q: But you didn’t collude?

A: No!

(You get the point.)

BILL

Great Moments in Pouting

“It’s very sad that Republicans, even some that were carried over the line on my back, do very little to protect their President.”

L&G, TTA.

(And by the way, Mr. Really, Really Smart, that should have been “who were carried over the line.”)

BILL

Is That a Flying Broomstick I Smell?

Lawyering up, seeking potential conflicts of interest against those investigating you, looking into your pardon powers, tossing folks under the bus. That’s a lot of activity for a “witch hunt.”

L&G, TTA.

BILL

Great Moments in Coherency

“When he brought it to me, I said this is really made-up junk. I didn’t think about anything. I just thought about, man, this is such a phony deal. I said, this is — honestly, it was so wrong, and they didn’t know I was just there for a very short period of time. It was so wrong, and I was with groups of people. It was so wrong that I really didn’t, I didn’t think about motive. I didn’t know what to think other than, this is really phony stuff. In my opinion, he shared it so that I would think he had it out there.”

(L&G,TTA)

BILL

The More Things Change, The More They-- (Never Mind)

“The buck stops here.” (Harry S. Truman)

“I’m not going to own it.” (Donald Trump)

(Ladies and gentlemen, the Trump Administration.)

BILL

Try This Some Time:

Whenever you hear The Commodores 1978 hit “Three Times a Lady,” wait for Lionel Ritchie to sing “Cause you’re once, twice, three times—“ then scream out: “SOLD!!!!”

BILL

"Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery."

That being so, I am so incredibly flattered of late how Trumpettes have frequently been invoking my “amateur hour” description of the Trump Administration as “defense” of its ineptitude.

BILL

"Trump floats Russia cyber alliance"

… the headline in the 7/10/17 Los Angeles Times.

In other news, the President has empaneled a blue ribbon commission to study whether rapists and their victims can – in his words – “find common ground. I mean, it’s just sex, right? What’s the big deal?”

BILL

What Can I Say?

It’s been my experience that those who frequently preach the importance of “respecting other people’s beliefs” tend to have really stupid beliefs.

BILL

One of The Funniest Paragraphs I've Ever Read:

“Trump, Jr. said he released the statements in the spirit of transparency, but he did so only after The New York Times obtained copies and informed him that they were about to publish them.” *

(Ladies and gentlemen, the Trump Administration.)

* 7/12/17 Los Angeles Times

BILL

Film-Dumb

The film “47 Meters Down” asks: “How do you survive the world’s greatest predators?” (How about not going down 47 meters in shark infested waters for starters?)

BILL

Gotta Admit, I'm With Trump on This One

I mean, if I’m President and seventeen U.S. intelligence agencies inform me that Russia interfered in our 2016 election, while a man who for sixteen years was a foreign intelligence officer for the KGB, Vladimir Putin, tells me they’re wrong, I’m going with the Vlad.

BILL

I'll Have an Orange Russian

“Aides to President Trump, who often doesn’t read long briefing papers, have prepared a list of tweet-length sentences that summarize the issues he could bring up with Russian President Vladimir Putin.” *

(Ladies and gentlemen, the Putin Admini- I mean the Trump Administration.)

BILL

*Source: 7/5/17 Los Angeles Times

From our "No one respects women more than me" file:

“The pay gap between male and female White House staffers has more than tripled in the first year of the Trump administration, according to an analysis by economist Mark Perry of the American Enterprise Institute.” *

(Ladies and gentlemen, the Trump Administration.)

BILL

* Source: 7/5/17 Washington Post

This is now my favorite tweet:

“I’m going to be so presidential you’re going to get bored.”

(Ladies and gentlemen, the Trump Administration.)

BILL