So there I am at a Vegas roulette table when I notice this lovely, caramel-skinned lady eyeballing me time and again. Finally, she sidles up to me and whispers: “You know, once you go black, you never go back.” So I keep betting on black over and over and over. By the time the evening was done I had lost everything! Damn her! Damn her!!
BILL
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
Litterbugs: A Non-Character Study (ESSAY)
Perhaps it’s my imagination, but I swear people litter more these days than they have in the past. On my morning stroll to the bus stop, I am forever amazed by the amounts of trash I see scattered along sidewalks, lying in gutters, strewn across lawns and tossed – or intentionally set down from the opened door of a parked car - onto the street by what I can only assume to be legions of litterbugs. I see little reason to describe what actually comprises this trash because, barring blindness, any resident of Los Angeles is already too familiar with the sordid details.
What they should grant further consideration to, however, is the type of person who actually litters or, more precisely, the qualities that form the character – or lack thereof – of a litterbug.
First and foremost, litterbugs are lazy. Look around and you will see endless garbage that has been tossed away, often within close proximity to a trashcan. It well seems that, for litterbugs, taking a few steps in the direction of a waste container in order to properly dispose of some trash is far too trying a burden, one glaring in its lack of perceivable benefit to them. The more communal benefit of lessening a city’s visual blight is, for them, evidently a bridge too far.
They are irresponsible. Despite that whatever they are holding in their hand was intentionally placed there by them only moments earlier, they divest themselves of any responsibility for that same object once it has been shorn of its use to them. Rudely casting the item aside, they leave it for others - namely, the rest of us by way of city sanitation workers - to dispose of properly.
They are self-absorbed, dismissive of the fact that the litter they have created is no longer their concern but rather someone else’s. Clearly, they have more important things to do with their time and cannot be troubled by such trivial matters as picking up after themselves. This they deem to be the purview of others. The “help” perhaps.
They have no respect for other people’s property, a point rendered indisputable time and again with every piece of trash they fling onto someone else’s lawn or out onto our city’s streets and freeways. It can well be stated that, in doing so, they hoist a middle finger in the direction of either the property owner or all of us collectively, i.e. the taxpayers, the act itself brazen in both its contempt and utter disregard for one’s fellow citizens.
They do not care at all about the environment. Most of us by now are aware of the existence of state-sized masses of garbage floating upon the upper surface of our oceans, the contents having gathered together over time by wind and water currents, the resulting flotilla squandering sea-life and rendering the water covering the bulk of our planet the next best thing to a sewage tank. Whether it’s a plastic bottle tossed into a gutter that soon finds itself adrift in the ocean or a piece of trash lobbed into someone’s yard, it worsens either the ongoing despoliation of our oceans or the Everest-sized problem of our landfills. Moreover, in selfishly forgoing the opportunity to recycle the item, litterbugs only add to our ever-increasing dependency on natural resources – made worse each day by the world’s growing population – as well as humanity’s apparent default tendency toward environmental degradation.
Finally, the act of littering is a crime, no matter the city, no matter the state. Simply put, litterbugs are the very essence of habitual scofflaws. Three strikes, you ask? Try hundreds.
So when it comes to choosing those with whom you wish to associate, it would seem a perfectly fair and rational litmus test of character to find out whether the individual in question is a litterbug. In the end what you really should be asking yourself is this: why would you want to spend any time whatsoever in the presence of a lazy, irresponsible, self-absorbed scofflaw who has no regard for the property of others and who cares not a whit for the environment?
BILL
What they should grant further consideration to, however, is the type of person who actually litters or, more precisely, the qualities that form the character – or lack thereof – of a litterbug.
First and foremost, litterbugs are lazy. Look around and you will see endless garbage that has been tossed away, often within close proximity to a trashcan. It well seems that, for litterbugs, taking a few steps in the direction of a waste container in order to properly dispose of some trash is far too trying a burden, one glaring in its lack of perceivable benefit to them. The more communal benefit of lessening a city’s visual blight is, for them, evidently a bridge too far.
They are irresponsible. Despite that whatever they are holding in their hand was intentionally placed there by them only moments earlier, they divest themselves of any responsibility for that same object once it has been shorn of its use to them. Rudely casting the item aside, they leave it for others - namely, the rest of us by way of city sanitation workers - to dispose of properly.
They are self-absorbed, dismissive of the fact that the litter they have created is no longer their concern but rather someone else’s. Clearly, they have more important things to do with their time and cannot be troubled by such trivial matters as picking up after themselves. This they deem to be the purview of others. The “help” perhaps.
They have no respect for other people’s property, a point rendered indisputable time and again with every piece of trash they fling onto someone else’s lawn or out onto our city’s streets and freeways. It can well be stated that, in doing so, they hoist a middle finger in the direction of either the property owner or all of us collectively, i.e. the taxpayers, the act itself brazen in both its contempt and utter disregard for one’s fellow citizens.
They do not care at all about the environment. Most of us by now are aware of the existence of state-sized masses of garbage floating upon the upper surface of our oceans, the contents having gathered together over time by wind and water currents, the resulting flotilla squandering sea-life and rendering the water covering the bulk of our planet the next best thing to a sewage tank. Whether it’s a plastic bottle tossed into a gutter that soon finds itself adrift in the ocean or a piece of trash lobbed into someone’s yard, it worsens either the ongoing despoliation of our oceans or the Everest-sized problem of our landfills. Moreover, in selfishly forgoing the opportunity to recycle the item, litterbugs only add to our ever-increasing dependency on natural resources – made worse each day by the world’s growing population – as well as humanity’s apparent default tendency toward environmental degradation.
Finally, the act of littering is a crime, no matter the city, no matter the state. Simply put, litterbugs are the very essence of habitual scofflaws. Three strikes, you ask? Try hundreds.
So when it comes to choosing those with whom you wish to associate, it would seem a perfectly fair and rational litmus test of character to find out whether the individual in question is a litterbug. In the end what you really should be asking yourself is this: why would you want to spend any time whatsoever in the presence of a lazy, irresponsible, self-absorbed scofflaw who has no regard for the property of others and who cares not a whit for the environment?
BILL
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Go Phish
Seriously, these days I would really hate to be an extremely wealthy man who happens to find himself imprisoned in a Nigerian jail, my freedom entirely dependent on the persuasive letter writing skills of my dearest friends.
BILL
BILL
Monday, February 25, 2013
Friday, February 15, 2013
Brevity Is The Soul of Wit
“Game of Thrones” actor Peter Dinklage has been added to the cast of the next installment in the “X-Men” film series. Following production, he will star in a remake of “Get Shorty.”
BILL
BILL
Thursday, February 14, 2013
Fate Accomplished
The irony regarding rogue cop Christopher Dorner is that the LAPD found him unfit to be a police officer, a finding that so enraged him he went on an unhinged killing spree that proved them right.
BILL
BILL
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
One of Those 80-20 Rules
If you had to guess who of the six below would invite as his personal guest tonight to the President’s State of The Union address a man who threatened the life of the President (Ted Nugent), who would you pick?
A Democrat from California
A Republican from Illinois
A Democrat from Michigan
A Republican from Texas
A Democrat from Missouri
A Republican from New Jersey
(Scroll down for answer)
BILL
You were right! A Republican from Texas. Rep. Steve Stockman (R-TX) (By the way, if you didn’t guess this, you really do need to read a newspaper more often…)
A Democrat from California
A Republican from Illinois
A Democrat from Michigan
A Republican from Texas
A Democrat from Missouri
A Republican from New Jersey
(Scroll down for answer)
BILL
You were right! A Republican from Texas. Rep. Steve Stockman (R-TX) (By the way, if you didn’t guess this, you really do need to read a newspaper more often…)
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
I Guess "Shill-Bud" Was Already Taken
NEWS ITEM: The three-week-old star of Budweiser's Super Bowl ad now has a name: Hope.
Anheuser-Busch said that its contest to find a name for the foal born Jan. 16 at the company's Clydesdale ranch in mid-Missouri generated more than 60,000 tweets, Facebook comments and other messages. Hope was one of the more popular names generated through the social media effort.
Other suggestions were nods to the song featured in the commercial, including Landslide — the name of the song — and Stevie — for Fleetwood Mac singer Stevie Nicks.
Anheuser-Busch said that its contest to find a name for the foal born Jan. 16 at the company's Clydesdale ranch in mid-Missouri generated more than 60,000 tweets, Facebook comments and other messages. Hope was one of the more popular names generated through the social media effort.
Other suggestions were nods to the song featured in the commercial, including Landslide — the name of the song — and Stevie — for Fleetwood Mac singer Stevie Nicks.
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Oh, Say Can You See The Obvious Solution?
Another pop star finds herself under attack for her performance of the national anthem, clueless to the fact that the entire brouhaha could be avoided simply by performing the national anthem.
BILL
BILL
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