Time Passage

In the same way that “Even a broken clock is right twice a day,” I think we must give due consideration to the reality that even a functioning clock can be slow sometimes. Interpret as you will.

BILL

I Can't Believe I'm Defending Donald Trump

On a recent airing of “Real Time with Bill Maher,” the host quoted Trump as saying “All I know is what’s on the Internet,” deriding such a statement as it (presumably) should be derided. Unfortunately, while Trump did indeed say this, it was in regards to one very limited issue only. This is MAJORLY taking something out of context and more than a bit unfair.

Just keeping it real, Bill, pun intended. Yes, I’ll be shooting myself later today for having defended Donald Trump. It’s been real. (Hey! There’s that “real” word again.)

BILL

The Danger of "The True Believer"

NEWS ITEM: Kabul, Afghanistan – A year ago, amateur cellphone video captured by hundreds of mostly young men showed a frenzied crowd beating a young woman, her face covered in blood. For nearly two hours, she pleaded for her life and denied their accusations – that she had burned pages from the Koran.

They later dragged her body from the back of a pickup, then dumped the corpse in a dry patch of river and set it afire.

“These were educated city dwellers who rushed and beat a woman based on hearsay,” a TV journalist stated later. Turned out, the accusations were false.

EDITORIAL: Now a crowd of agnostics or atheists would never inflict such brutality upon a lone woman. The magic ingredient that makes such an event possible is religion, not belief in god, but religion. And in my verbal sparring with true believing Christians who simply “know beyond a shadow of a doubt” that what they believe is true, so did the aforementioned men “know” that what they were doing was just and proper. A travesty of the word “know.”

BILL

Sage Advice for New Parents Pondering Names:

Remember… the playground is ruthless.

BILL

Trashin' The Place

It occurred to me one day as I walked to the dumpster with a bag of trash in one hand and a bag of “my stuff” in the other, that there has to have been many times when someone – distracted over whatever – has walked out with two of the aforementioned bags and, upon arrival at work, was met with the question: “Joe? What are you doing with a bag of garbage?”

BILL

It's Elementary, My Dear Watson

Some assert that the late Supreme Court justice Antonin Scalia “died mysteriously.” Oooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhh.

The 79-year old judge suffered from coronary artery disease, obesity and diabetes, among other ailments.

Hope this helps.

BILL

"Brussels Sprouts Theories as To Cause of Terror"

I’m betting religion is a factor. Call me crazy.

BILL

A Thinly Transparent Argument

Gang rapists should not be sent to prison because they might get depressed. I’m adamant about this. We all agree depression is not something we would wish upon anybody, right? So that would most definitely include gang rapists. NOT!!! Here’s the thing, we deem public safety and criminal punishment to - without question - trump a felon’s depression. Now follow me on this one.

When people advocate legislation mandating making it known who is paying for political ads, etc. there is a certain element of society – OK, I’ll say it, a certain political party – that suggests that we CAN’T inform the public who is secretly financing Political Action Committees and funding initiatives under blurry names like “Citizens United for a Better Tomorrow” because – ready? – there might be boycotts or vaguely worded “threats” against these individuals. Now, here’s where we get to the gang rapist analogy. In the same way that public safety and criminal punishment are more important than possible depression among gang rapists, so does transparency and full disclosure as to who is trying to buy the results of an election trump a possible boycott of said individuals.

I’m putting away my soap box now. I know, I know. “Hey, Bill, try USING the soap for once!”

BILL

Sequel-Mania

If Sanders should be elected President, a Friday night arrival at the Lincoln bedroom will henceforth be known as “Weekend at Bernie’s.”

BILL

Lunar Obit

Neil Armstrong chose the lowest paying job offer he had coming out of college. Or as Donald Trump would call him: “a loser.”

BILL

It's Not the Mileage; It's the Years (a stolen line....)

Harrison Ford is scheduled to do another Indiana Jones movie. He’ll be 75 when it comes out! I’m thinking perhaps he should star in another “Walker, Texas Ranger” instead.

BILL

I Suppose I Shouldn't Brag Aout This

But I have two degrees of separation from Charles Manson from four different directions.

BILL

Of COURSE I Believe in Miracles!

I mean, Lady Gaga and Dianne Warren did NOT win the Oscar for “Till It Happens To You” a couple weeks back.

BILL

The Furor Over der Fuehrer

Thank you, Donald Trump! Just when voicing the similarities of Trump to Hitler met with some resistance, The Donald helps make the case for me. As protesters are being forcibly removed from one of his rallies, he says to his all white followers (must be a master race, I guess) how he longs for the days when protesters would be “taken out on stretchers.” Yes, pining for the days of physically pummeling protesters to the point where they need to be taken to the hospital. Ladies and gentlemen: Donald Trump.

BILL

NEWS ITEM: The mothers of Trayvon Martin and Jordan Davis, two (black) men killed in high-profile shootings, knocked Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders on Tuesday for comments he made about "ghettos" and African-American families.

EDITORIAL: Nice priorities, ladies. I learned Friday that Bernie Sanders was rousted by police at a civil rights protest in the 60s. Yeah, maybe, in an off the cuff moment, he shouldn’t have used the term “ghetto.” but who among us bats a thousand? Certainly not me. Way to fight the power, ladies.

BILL

Birth of a National Candidate for President

I don’t seem to be hearing that tidal wave of birther stuff re Canadian born GOP presidential candidate Ted Cruz. Oh, that’s right. He’s not black. My bad!

BILL

"I Know a Lot About Benghazi; I Saw The Movie!"

Someone actually said this to me. However, there’s a danger in getting one’s “facts” from a movie, a point perhaps comically proven by watching “Titanic” again and noticing that the two chaps stationed high in the crow’s nest as lookouts for icebergs take a few seconds to spy upon Jack and Rose as they smooch away on deck. The two quip back and forth about not wanting to do the same to stave off the chill, their spying upon the young lovers and somewhat tawdry exchange occurring just before they spot the actual iceberg yet still comprising sufficient time to ensure Titanic’s fateful contact with it. (You’ll recall the ship just barely grazed it.) Alas, a few more seconds in the ship’s favor and James Cameron has a lot less money. Yes, one can make the case by watching the movie that the Titanic itself sank because of Jack and Rose.

BILL

PS: And don’t even get me started on Oliver Stone’s “JFK.”

Feelings, Nothing More Than Feelings

True believers need to learn the difference between feeling something very, very, very, VERY strongly and actually “knowing.” The two are NOT the same, despite the fact that one group, the 9/11 terrorists, would tell me differently, “knowing” as they did that the infidels should be killed.

BILL

Debate Post-Mortem

To watch last night’s wrestling match of a Republican Presidential candidate debate was to catch a glimpse of the sheer genius of Mike Judge’s 2006 comedy “Idiocracy,” where the once mighty United States of America has intellectually crumbled into a dim-bulb netherworld of absolute morons. The childish bully antics of Donald Trump managed from time to time to pull even the other “serious” candidates down to his boorish level, the four of them pelting each other with fistfuls of verbal sand in pathetic attempts to garner the cheers of their own portion of knuckle-dragging mouth-breathers populating the rube-infested audience. While no fan of FOX News, I couldn’t help but admire – and, yes, feel sorry for - the three hosts who did their best to soldier on valiantly, heads held high in attempting to bring some level of respectable discourse to this sorry affair, each frequently being booed and heckled for having the audacity to ask what I thought was a consistent presentation of not only fair-minded but hardball questions, the type that an informed electorate should welcome when vetting the highest office in our nation. Sadly, what we saw instead was a national embarrassment.

BILL

Twitter: @BillBekkala

Night of The Sand Crabs

After a stress-filled day at the office yesterday, it was nice to simply go home, kick back and watch the kids play in the sandbox.

After the GOP debate I ordered a pizza.

BILL

Twitter: @BillBekkala

Admit It, This WOULD Be Funny

Clinton wins in November and during her election night victory speech says: “And now I’d like to introduce a very close friend of mine,” and out comes Donald Trump.

BILL

A State With a Lot of Bulls Will Always Have a Lot of Bullshit

The mortality rate for women having abortions in the United States was less than one in 100,000 between 2008 and 2011. This is lower than the mortality rate for colonoscopies and liposuction.*

One can certainly understand then when Texas lawmakers enact endless restrictions on abortions in an effort to “protect women’s health.”

Ahhhh, that’s so thoughtful of them.

BILL


*Source: 3/2/16 Los Angeles Times