If It Is True That You Are What You Eat...

… one best avoid nuts or jerky.

BILL

PS - Join me on Twitter at Bill Bekkala

Mythbusting 101 - "Slow and steady wins the race."

Tell that to the crowd who laughed until they peed at my 1:09:07 time in the hundred yard dash back in high school.

BILL

PS - I'm on Twitter at Bill Bekkala

“Live every day as if it were your last.”

(Sworn enemy of the dental floss industry.)

BILL

PS: I'm on Twitter at Bill Bekkala

The Day Obama Held Me Hostage

Well before becoming President, Barack Obama broke into my apartment, gun in hand, rifling through my things and threatening to kill me when it was all over.

I begged for my life, tears streaming down my face, my fear and frustration all to evident, and I reminded him time and again that his plans for escape were ludicrous and to please, please not kill me.

“If I want to kill you, I’ll kill you, period,” he uttered coldly each time.

This went on for several minutes, me trying to convince him of the futility of escape, him reminding me repeatedly that when it was all over I was a dead man. “Period.”

In the end, he slipped out a back window, having loosened the knots prior to making his escape and thus allowing me to free myself of the ropes. The final knot undone, I ran to the open window and shouted as Obama leapt over the backyard fence. “Hey! What the hell? You said you were going to kill me. You’re nothing but a g*****n liar!”

BILL

That's One Small Stumble For Mankind

If the folks currently in Congress bemoaning the less than stellar rollout of Obamacare were in the same positions back in January of 1967 – when a launch pad test of Apollo One resulted in the three capsule-entrapped astronauts being fried to a crisp - I highly doubt man would have ever set foot on the moon. (And don’t even get me started on what would have been their December 8, 1941 flag of surrender to the Japanese.)

BILL

Howling at The Name

It’s a little known fact that the sixties rock band Steppenwolf was originally named Steppenwolfdung. Not unwisely, they shortened their name.

BILL

PS - Hey! You can find me at "Bill Bekkala" (Just don't tell the thirteen children I've spawned.)

To This Day I Love Monkey Bars

And, when duly inebriated, have been known to plant myself at a bar stool and flirt shamelessly with an orangutan or chimpanzee.

BILL

PS - You can find me on Twitter at "Bill Bekkala" (I think...) when not at a monkey bar.