If elected to the Senate...

… I promise the American people that I’ll be more than willing to reach across the aisle to members of the other party and smack the hell out of them whenever I damn well please.

BILL

I'm So Stupid

I just found out that Chuck Schumer is the Democratic Senate Minority Leader. I thought it was a movement to destroy Amy Schumer’s career.

BILL

Double Dipping

NEWS HEADLINE: “Trump didn’t really believe the birther conspiracy he was pushing, son-in-law reportedly says.”

EDITORIAL: The son-in-law too dim a bulb to realize that this makes his father-in-law look even worse.

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Punch Drunk Love

If ever you get punched in the face for no apparent reason and are knocked both down and senseless, if you’re a Trump voter, act with integrity by rising to your feet, spitting out your teeth and recalling how you proudly voted for a man to be President who, on more than one occasion, advocated such violence. Be a mensch by smiling through your newly-gapped teeth and enduring the blow without complaint, for it’s important to be consistent in one’s beliefs.

BILL

"The Law of Unintended Consequences"

The coolest thing about "The Law of Unintended Consequences" is that if it fails to kick in it proves its own point.

BILL

William P. Bekkala Facebook post of 12/20/2016:

America having elected Donald Trump president is like saying re your roommate: “Yeah, he never pays the rent on time, molested my visiting niece, smells, has set the place on fire twice, crushed my kitten in a drunken stupor, eats my food, drinks my beer, uses up all my toilet paper, is a total slob, leaves the door unlocked, steals my shit, holds parties when I’m trying to sleep, borrows money from me all the time without repaying me. But he takes out the trash every now and again, so I’m keeping him.”

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I wish they all could be California Pieces of Ass (to use Trump-speak)

NEWS HEADLINE: “Trump’s Inauguration: Beach Boys Consider Offer to Perform”

EDITORIAL: Bekkala considers pissing on his Beach Boys album collection.

BILL