I was visiting John Kennedy’s grave at Arlington National Cemetery when I tripped, spilling my 44-ounce Big Gulp. As bad luck would have it, the entire soda landed smack dab on top of Kennedy’s eternal flame, completely dowsing it and causing it to be extinguished. Man, you should have seen the looks I got.
Oh, and I once split the crotch on my pants when I was seven and the teacher had to staple them together but that’s a distant second.
BILL
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