Everything I Need to Know About Cops I Learned in Kindergarten

Never resist arrest.

Never resist arrest if you are massively obese and have an asthma condition that might prove problematic when resisting arrest against officers who have no such prior knowledge re your medical condition.

Never try to take away an officer’s gun while resisting arrest.

Never steal an item and carry it in the open prior to trying to take away an officer’s gun just after having resisted arrest.

Never walk down the middle of the street impeding traffic after having stolen an item and carrying it in the open just prior to trying to take away an officer’s gun just while resisting arrest.

Never place your hands up as if to say “I’m not a threat” while having done the opposite for the prior minute when trying to take away an officer’s gun during the process of resisting arrest.

Do I need to go on?

BILL

Twitter: @BillBekkala