Inspired by the Bush administration’s euphemism for torture, i.e. “enhanced interrogation techniques,” I have cobbled a few of my own.
Shooting: Second amendment lead insertion.
Strangulation: Non-defensive oxygen preclusion maneuver.
Battery: Rapid close quarter hyper-contact.
Auto theft: Non-regulation vehicular transfer op.
Burglary: Unsolicited possession seizure.
Rape: Third-party preemptive intimacy intrusion.
Gang rape: Multi-party preemptive intimacy intrusion.
BILL
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