I'm sorry but church shootings - yes, we had another - always crack me up.

HUSBAND: C’mon, honey, we’re running late. We can’t be late for mass.

WIFE: (from bathroom) I know, but Justin scraped his knee. I’m putting on a band aid.

HUSBAND: Wasn’t he dressed?

WIFE: He was getting dressed. He fell.

HUSBAND: Ugh. Gotta hustle. I’ll be in the car.

Husband runs outside. Gets in car. Starts it up. Pulls out of garage and idles the car in the driveway. Wife and little Justin scramble out of the house. Get into the car.

HUSBAND: Got everything?

WIFE: I think so.

HUSBAND: Cell phone?

WIFE: Check.

HUSBAND: Prayer book?

WIFE: Check.

HUSBAND: Check for the collection plate.

WIFE: Check.

HUSBAND: Those little mints I love.

WIFE: In my pocket.

HUSBAND: That’s why I married you.

Smiling, Husband puts the car into reverse and starts to back out.

WIFE: Wait! Stop!

HUSBAND: What now?

WIFE: I forgot the gun.

BILL