Friday, December 13, 2013

The War on Christmas

Smoke drifts upward in seemingly endless curls along the horizon while my worn and weary ears grow used it seems to the muffled rhythm of gunfire in the distance. I’m afraid the situation can now be described only as undeniably bleak. Rumors are rampant that the liberals have been kidnapping portly white haired gentlemen, binding their hands behind them, then hanging them from telephone poles, but not before hoisting signs around their necks reading “Ho-ho-ho,” as if to taunt the very name of Christmas, but I have yet to verify this with my own eyes. Hurried, chaotic whispers claim the rebels might be making inroads against the godless bastards to the east but who knows what to believe at this juncture? Field hospitals are packed with both rebels and, of course, the battered but still clinging to life wounded of anyone caught watching FOX News. Supply lines have been cut off and I fear all may be lost.

Pray for me.

BILL

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